Please wait for her return.

sorry i didnt mean to call
but i couldnt fight it
i guess i was weak
couldnt even hide it…

vida, give me back my fantasy
the courage that i need to live
the air that i breathe.

awesome and beautiful.

__________

I’ve been feeling very tired and sleepy after common tests.
like today, I woke up at 10, and when it barely reached 3pm, i was already sleepy. so shu and i decided to nap instead of finishing mr&mrs smith. yesterday, i think i slept through most of the conversations at rocky master too. somthang’s wrong hahahaha.

It’s very easy to make promises, and equally easy to break them.
I see my friends around me, all bearing the brunt of broken promises. It hurts to see them in pain, yet not being to do anything. Brings about lots of thinking and sometimes the heart just weighs heavier as the skies become darker. I don’t like spending nights at home, cos I always let my thoughts run wild. I’ll think about my uneventful life, how unfulfilling it is, how it is that I haven’t done so many things, and how I cannot just die tomorrow. So many places I want to see for myself, so many things I haven’t yet said to people I love, so many things I haven’t done. Don’t make promises if you know you can’t keep them. It hurts more to know the words that come out are just said to make one happy, and not because you really want to keep to those words. It hurts a hell lot more waiting for the promise that eventually will be broken. So don’t, don’t ever hurt anyone you love this way.

Suddenly, I can’t wait to fast forward my life to fifty years down the road. I hope I’ll be retired by then, happily married with kids and possibly grandkids!, and a few wrinkles won’t kill but not too many please. I want to skip this poly thing, I can’t really take it anymore I don’t know why, and I want to get past the working life too, I want to skip all the raw emotions an adult may face, and go straight to old and happy. I want to sit in deckchairs in an open garden reading my book all day, cooking meals for my love then some tvee and dvds before heading to bed. I want to OMG WAIT PAUSE MY ENTRY.

YVONNE LIM JUST WON THE BEST ACTRESS IVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS SINCE HER DEBUT!!!!! WAHLAU YES SHES SO BLOODY GOOD AND PRETTY SHE TOTALLY DESERVES IT LOR. Actually, jessecaliu huangbiren ivylee deserve to get it too, anyone but joanne peh lah. YVONNELIM WAS SO BLOODY GOOD IN METAMORHOSIS DAMN GOOOOOOOOOOD. YAAAAAAAAAAAY.

okay back to what I was saying,
yeah I just want some quiet in my life.

Sometimes I wonder how much I mean. How far will you go to show me how you feel. How much effort am I worth.
Sometimes you just wonder how some people feel about you, if youre annoying, or nice.
Sometimes it’s very easy to want to cry, cos you don’t really know what to do, and what you’re doing and why you’re screwing your own life up but sometimes, it’s just easy to be a girl cos you can just cry at about everything. Haha lucky us.

actually i was searching for this ring I used to have, this strawberry crystal studded ring. hahaha when my mom first bought it for me, i was like, NO WAY IT’S SO CHEESY but after awhile i realised it’s really quite pretty. then it got all rusty ): came across this picture on google that really resembled the ring but it was far classier (mine was prolly just a cheapo $4.90 kinda, as can be verified from the rust). reminds me that i was searching for a banana ring, or fruit rings, early this year but never really got down to it.
BUT ANYWAY,

i happened to come across this really sweet picture and it made me smile. look at the stupid boy, so cute! and the girl’s so pretty. hahahaha.

okay what a looooooong entry. im just really, bored. wish i were out.

whatever. byebye!

SHURUN IS GOING TO KILL ME.
SHE’S REACHED WOODLANDS AND IM STILL BLOGGIN BUT NVRM LAH HOR. HAHAHAHA

hee hee went for breks w my bro and pops at this place we haven’t been to in like 24324234 years and i cycled pops there okay. i swear he’s gained 10kg or somethang, cos my legs are aching already. then we went to the market to shop! for like, prawns, yam and stuff to fry. yes yours truly will be doing the damn frying ): and my dad actually asked me to ask shurun to come over and taste it later haahahahahah.

and, i played the piano after having not touched it in ages! heeheheh managed to complete my grade7 exam piece, the one that i love a lot but my running keys are a little, messed up. like cannot control my fingers properly so they all cling clang at once hahaha. must go practise a little bit of scales first before doing the pieces again, but hell yeah, i feel gooood!
thinking of finally learning a piece from mozart’s sonata but the pieces look a little.. confusing :X

and i love my baby so (:

good half a sunday!

First things first,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAPH!
you the best k2 partner me can have! heehee.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MENG!
but doubt you’ll read this hahaha.

_______

 The heart’s a lot lighter now.
Finally came to a realisation of what’s the right thing to do, and what isn’t. I’ve decided that I can do this even if it kills, but first I’ll have to tell myself I can, and then I’ll have to try. From the start, it’s because I didn’t see a need to try so I didn’t and before it can all fall on me, I’m going to do something to prevent it from happening. Cos I’m strong and I’m smart enough to know what to do, I can do it. It’s time to back off a little and give myself some breathing space too.
Come tonight, the tears will fall, but things won’t change and we’ll remain the same.
I’ll be a better lover now that I’ve cleared my mind.

_______

A random thought.
Shu especially went to buy me doughnuts before meeting me last night! (: So sweet right. Except that if she hadn’t, she could have hopped on my train and I wouldnt have had to alight at woodlands. LOLLLLL.

Surprises are beautiful.
(:

I hope I can find something meaningful and beautiful to get him for Christmas.
mmm.
No more ideas lolll

_______

Gawd, mel just sent me an sms saying she wants to come over and bake?!?!?!
NOOOOO. Unless she offers to clean up and all as well. HAHAHAHA OH she just replied saying she doesnt mind cleaning up oh my goodness hahahaha
Speaking of which, I rmbr how desperate I was to dye my hair back to black after a disastrous green dye that screwed up and spens and i had to go over to mel’s place at night and mess her stupid living/dining room up! HHAHAHA.
WAIT NOW SHE WANTS TO GO TO THE SCIENCE CENTRE. REALLY.
_______

I’ve been thinking a lot lately, and maybe that’s why my brain feels like it’s going to explode any moment during the exam period. Oh and no wonder it couldnt absorb much, cos half of it is filled up with useless stuff hhaah.

Wah cannot be, everton just scored one more goal making it 2-0 against westham in the 93rd minute. What’s with this season and all its last minute goals!??!
May the gunners kick the blues’ asses tmrw and reignnn!
May the reds’ asses get kicked and liverpool win!

Okay , off I go.

nobody and nothing, can take this away from us, ever.