Please wait for her return.

a long time ago

When I think back on these times,
& the dreams we left behind
I’ll be glad cos I was blessed to get
to have you in my life
When I look back on these days
I’ll look and see your face
You were right there for me
In my dreams I’ll always see you
soar above the sky
In my heart there’ll always be
a place for you for all my life
I’ll keep a part of you with me
& everywhere I am there you’ll be
& everywhere I am,
There you’ll be.

______________________

Every day at work, I look at this list “10 Things I really Wanna Do but Haven’t Yet” stuck at the corner of my desk. It makes me want to work even harder to fulfill some of the listed items. Go, bel, go!

Very random –  this song just came into my mind. A song by FIR quite long ago. Fly Away!

Fly away, bu guan liu xia duo shao yan lei
jian chi xia qu de dong li hai zai
la la la la la la

HAHA!
I put on a little weight on my hips again ): My jeans are slightly snugger than before. Boooo. But okay, if it fills out just nice, that should be the ideal thing.

Hanabi with spens & mel was great last night (minus the ultra slow service from 8-9pm)
(:

 FB quizzes have been a good source of entertainment for me these 2 days cos boss not around. HAHA jacq attempted to access into my restaurant city to er trade stuff huh? But my desktop is way too slow and she gave up halfway HAHAHAHA lousy leh. & OMG this is so lame, all the fb quizzes’ results are quite hilarious haahahahah
OKAY SELF ENTERTAINMENT.

Let’s be a tad random today. 

People LOVE to say things they don’t really mean. And I mean, all the time. “YES” really means NO. “SURE” really means NO WAY. “UP TO YOU” really means YOU BETTER CHOOSE SMTH I LIKE. “I PROMISE” really means I TRY LAH NO GUARANTEE. “SORRY” can sometimes mean IM NOT REALLY SORRY BUT I GUESS IT MAKES US BETTER.
All the freaking time.
Why do humans complicate every single thing? WHY CAN’T YES JUST MEAN FREAKING YES???
I do not understand.
ALSO, why can’t people THINK before they speak/do something?
I DO NOT COMPREHEND.

 Words sprouted are more often than not irretrievable. 

& an amazing fact.
This entry started at 1030am and it’s currently 507pm. I update as and when I have something to say HAHAHA.

& now…..

i’m gonna press PUBLISH and get back to being bored.

): BOO. Long Friday night, pass quick!

/EDITED

My blog’s become this ranting space. I type a whole chunk, cursing and swearing and pouring out every little thing to, and then I delete it. I feel like a retard but it makes me feel better. Nights like that, I wish they never happened. I wish there was something I can do to make myself feel a lot better. Tomorrow’s gonna be a rough day. I just know it. And the night.. it’s not going to be any easier than today was.
I wanna go to bed, & never wake up, ever.

/DONE

___________________

Apprehensive, with a step back
Yet strangely curious
Swaying uncontrollably, strong winds hailing
She stumbles
With a parade of throe and chafe
If your vision penetrates deep enough
You will espy how her heart is caressed
______________

So anyways, met up with SamKay last night for some upsizeNOT wanton mee and searched far east plaza for osf shop, just to take a look. HAHA told ourselves not to buy anything and we ALMOST managed that except..
cheap shades. Followed by an hour odd of camwhoring and talking (: Then another hour of bus ride back cos of some damned accident (SEE LA SAM’S MOUTH DAMN BIG) and the bus was just crawling inches per min.

So in July-Aug, I’ll most probably be doing just 3days work week & have more free time to my own stuff. Triple yay! In Sept, though, it’ll be back to full time & will probably be busy through end of year. Which then marks another turning point. His enlistment is in Sept, and it seems so far away yet not totally. 2 years seem like a long time, but not exactly too. Growing up just sucks, huh?

I’m so upset cos my OC dvds got something wrong! The last season’s last few episodes keep stalling and I can’t finish the series properly and that pisses me off badly!! ): & I’ve rewatched MVP Qing Ren leh HAHA so ol’ school omg.

Hanabi in 1.5 hrs time. Can’t wait, cos I’m currently starving!
I like my hair lately. It’s so thick that when I bun it up, it looks wholesome. & when I let it down, it kinda just falls into soft curls. Aiyooooo, so demure. Cannot stand it.

A joke a friend told me ytd.
QN: Why does PM Lee work only at night? 
ANS: Cos PM mah!

Wahlau I don’t know about you guys, but I kinda LOL-ed for 5 secs before realizing okay, that’s quite lame :X

20more mins to knock off!
No boss today so.. came a little later.. lunched a little longer.. went to client office then go cold storage bought stuff for the rest.. walk a little slower.. chatted a little more to jac and shu..

& now maybe.. leave a little earlier? AHHAHA NO LA I NOT SO GARANG.

love y’all!
& you too, all the time. 

Leaping across the narrow ditch, she crossed over to a whole new world. Green pastures and meadows welcomed her presence and roaming sheep and farm animals gave life to the picture. It was here, that pain no longer existed. Her thoughts were no longer scrambled up and all over the place – there were just no more thoughts for the moment. Taking a deep breath, she ran. 

Like the wind, she gave pursuit like never before. Her lungs began to fill up and panting sounds got louder and heavier. Her hair was tightly pulled back into a ponytail and perspiration was glistening on her forehead.  Eyes sparkling with determination, fists clenched, her speed never wavered.
She continued running, as though with each step, she could escape reality a little bit more.

__________

Insomnia is getting to me. Even when I go to bed earlier, I end up just waking up every half hour and stoning for another hour before getting back into fitful sleep. At this rate, it is no wonder my eyes can barely be kept opened, and my mood is just.. stony. 

People change. Maybe this time, I’m the changed one. This period of time reminds me a little of how I was in secondary school. When moods no longer become erratic.. rather, stagnant at a blah level. How sometimes I can still be so enthu and in split seconds, I’ll feel so lifeless and worn out I just want to sit down and sleep. Have I tired you out? Have I been pissing you off? Have I been a bad girlfriend? Yes to all, I think. Something’s not right here, something’s gone awry and sometimes it just makes me want to just run away with you to a place where nobody knows us, just to be alone with you. That’s when I think everything will be okay. Or will it not? I think my thoughts are very childish sometimes. I always wonder why things can’t just stay the same forever. How come we cannot be as happy as we were when it all first started? How come things start to change as we slowly grow up? What will happen next year?

So many questions.. & who’s gonna give me the answers?

I desperately need sleep..

but more, I need you.

Millions of things. But here are a few!

1. $$$$$ – so I can satisfy my other penchants, no??

2. Footwear! I cannot resist looking at pretty ones but I can usually RESIST the urge to actually buy them cos of my weird feet structure. 

Glass display case for shoes in the middle of the streets! I LOVE!

3. Huge soft toys! I don’t like plush ones cos they just don’t feel as real. I love those.. soft-furred ones. That silky coat feeling? Yeah, not the shed-fur kinda huge-ass toys. AHHHH.

4. Earrings. Funny enough, I don’t seem to realize how many pairs I actually have until recently. I have millions of different types lying around – used ones, rusty ones, new ones, unopened ones, those in pairs and some with one side missing, studs, hoops, shiny, matt, small, big etc. Dumped the rusty ones already and now.. still left with many choices!

5. Traveling. I sound like one of those rich brats who can afford trips as and when. I’m not, but I do enjoy traveling to wherever I get to go, for whatever purposes. I can’t afford plenty of destinations but I can dream and in future, I’ll somehow get to those places. Somehow, the air is just different at every single place. Never fails to amaze me how different each country can be.

Memorial Church at Berlin

Isn’t the church beautiful?
Aren’t the girls in the picture, too? HAAHHA

6. Pasar Malam food. Ramly burgers, fishball/nugget/tofu sticks, cheap honeydew drink, huge chunky chicken wings etc. (IM SO GNNA GET SOME ON MY WAY HOME LTR!)

7. Writing. I’m not fantastic in English and I don’t write like a pro. But I enjoy writing/typing a lot of random stuff. Short stories, random poems that usually make no sense, blog entries etc. Not so much in the last 3 years but in secondary school, it was almost my life. diary-x.com, once upon a time.

8. Vintage items. It’s not my type of dressing but I like looking through vintage wear and accessories. Wish I could carry it off, though ):

9. Black/Grey/Green outfits. I have tons of  clothes at home which I rarely wear and I’m almost always wearing the same stuff day in and day out. And they are usually black, grey or green. So boring, but I feel safe in these colors. BLACK IS SAFEST, NO?

10. Canoeing. I may not be the best, but at least I like doing what I do. End of story.

11. ONE MORE ONE MORE. CHOCOLATES!!! 
Sounds like any typical thing everyone will craze about anyway, but recently I’ve been loving chocolates more than ever! Only milk ones, unless it’s ritter sport!! HAAHHAH

oooooooooh

oooooooooooh again!

ONE LAST OOOOOOOOOOOOH!

OH and we bought a bar of 99% cocoa bar and we.. almost died..
IT SUCKED TOTALLY HAHAHA

OKAY END OF KNOWING-BEL-BETTER for today! 

________________

OOOH Krisflyer has 50% off tickets to various destinations if I redeem my miles! And I qualify only for some nearby destinations.. so I’d rather not waste my mileage yet. KOONCHIN!! Wait till I hit Sydney’s points, I’ll redeem and fly over okay?? HAPPY WAITING!!!! Hahahaha.

I’m not feeling too well today. Shall head home after work to have a WELL-DESERVED rest? Hahaha.

Boss asked me to continue on till dec but I told her I’m happy to take july and aug off to do part time.. so I’ll be back in Sep again! Good news, at least that can tide me over till Dec and I can clock 1 year working experience.

Right now, I’m so so so hungry I can eat a cow.

22 more minutes till knock off ):

My sleeping pattern has been eternally destroyed, I swear.
Okay minus the exaggeration, I still haven’t been able to clock more than 4 hours of sleep each night for the past week. Think it’s time to go buy some sleeping pills, though I really hate to believe that pills work magic in any way. Skipped lunch to sleep for an hour plus today but I still feel very tired today. Horrigible feeling ):

Friday was great, seeing all the familiar faces again after such a long time. What more, with tonnes of xiao long baos and all! (:

Throat’s being a total bitch lately.

Need to find a job soon. Hopefully can extend here in sep still. But in any case, my friend helping me to check out a part-time thing selling…

COACH stuff???

wthell HAHAHA so impossible.

_____

I have a feeling my 21st birthday may very well be spent in Adelaide, without friends and all ):

booooooooooooooo.

Managed to rush finish my pile of work today with 14 mins to spare before knock-off!

Gonna have some toilet time.. then pack up slowly..

& meet my love(:

After work, me is meeting the gang of people to go eat many xiaolongbaos at crystal jade.

CANT WAIT =D

___

Dinner with laupy and makmak last night teehee.
<3 ‘em!

Dinner with shu & mak nexet thurs, wheeee!
<3 <3

___

It’s funny how last friday at this time, we were so looking forward to packing up for the entire event in Berlin. A week later, I’m sitting at my desk, back in sunny singapore and thinking back about the days there.
Was talking to koonchin this morning and somehow, she made a bit of sense. HAHAHAHA.

Where did we go wrong..
tell me, someone.

My eyes are swollen today, again, from the lack of sleep for too many days. Phin and Shu haven’t been able to sleep at night too, how how. This can’t go on, I’m going crazyyyyy. 

Gonna give NCC a miss this year. In fact, apart from SCM early this year, I haven’t raced at all in 2009. MR, PA, and now NCC. I hope by NWCC I feel ready to do something again. Kinda sucks, hanging in here but at nowhere in particular. You understand or not? No right? I also don’t understand.

Moving on..

K time to knock off and thanks a lot boss, for sending me last minute requests to do your work!!!!!!!!

Freaking 6pm already!!!!

I’m a complete blank tonight.

Too many things in my mind, each fighting for top priority.
I’m tired.

I need a direction in life, I need to know what’s my next step in life.
I need to know where I stand in yours, and I need to know where to go now.

Usually watching F.R.I.E.N.D.S cracks me up. Tonight, Phoebe’s laughter is just ringing in the distance.

I’m such a planner. No wonder I freak and lose control of my life whenever my plan goes awry.

We cannot keep quiet all the time. Love is a difficult emotion to handle, and our hearts can be filled with overwhelming love but really have limited threshold too. Is there really a bubble, or has that bubble blinded me even, so much such that I can’t even see myself anymore?

Time for beddie bed, after all the laundry. Wish it was money I was laundering. HAHA.

____________

Transit at Frankfurt airport

Camwhoring at Berlin Tegel Airport while shu is finding her missing luggage, again

Poor Shuhui had her luggage lost again. This time, it didn’t even depart Singapore. So she had to wait a day before her stuff arrived. Really very very unlucky.

My home for 2 weeksCute right. It's like a pyramid, with 2 separate wings and a huge amount of rooms.Had a super big room to myself with separate tub, shower and toilet. King bed, work area, couch, closet and all that I need.Tiergarden beside the hotel, walking to dinner by the lake

SNOW!!

Full of pollen, this city, in spring. Whenever we dine outside, our food will have pollen stuck on it and maybe some flower will grow in our tummy =D Looks like snow, huh? Shuhui wastelling me have to take photo without the greenery, if not people won’t believe when I lie and say it’s snow hahaha.

Tiergarden - Ran along here a couple of times in the morning

It’s really a beautiful park to run/stroll in.

The team plus Marcel

Marcel and his first cup-noodles laksa experience. Nice guy? Hard to say, huh.

8 in the morning, or 8 in the evening?

Make a guess. Quite obvious lah hahaha.

Beer Peddlers!

 Blur pic cos they went past so fast and sudden!
It’s very interesting lah, this concept. This “vehicle” can sit around15 pax, with bicycle-like functions. So everyone has to cycle to get it moving. And there are connecting beer pipes for you to drink from and plates of food to eat. So they just cycle, drink, eat ON THE ROADS like normal vehicles. Cute hor??? And very dangerous, cos some of them can get drunk =\

Almost the entire team at where Berlin Wall used to be!

4 girls!

Boss, me, shuhui, phin

Jewish War Memorial

Very interesting story to this memorial. It is a beautiful site indeed, like a maze.

tiny small car, i like!

love the cars there. all either grafiti-ed or small and tiny!!!!

"WALL" sign - warning of impending danger

Good f or people like me, who tend to run into glass HAHAAH

One of the nicest/tallest man around!

Lucky kids of his, to have such TALL genes!!!

The cable-rs!

Learnt a lot of cabling stuff from this old man here. Damn a lot of wires to check zzzz.

Part of the team on our last dinner tgd (:

Missed out on the huge group photo cos i was busy clearing up my booth ):

Steffi & I

Possibly my favoritest woman in the team and my German teacher *ahem*
I taught her Mandarin! =D

Me & Berlin!

Actually it was from Hugos, this fine dining area at the top of Intercon hotel except.. I was in the “back alley” area so it was kinda dirty, really. Hahaha

Team SG vs Team NL

I miss them already! NICEST PEOPLE EVER!!

_______________________

Shit leh I still have many photos but.. too many to upload here.
Maybe next couple of entries, on more sightseeing hehehe.

For now, this will do!

Back here, the weather is a killer. Feels kinda weird, sleeping pattern still not adapted, don’t have much appetite but………..

at least I’m back! (:

<3 y’all.

Good to finally see you, love. I love you (: