It’s not that we werent ready for each other.. we just weren’t ready for forever.
Breathe.. Live.. Let live.. Forgive..
Everyday’s mantra : Just repeat. Life will be easier.
I used to seek comfort and solace in writing. I try to now, but it’s so hard. It’s so different. Words cannot even come close to depict how I’m feeling these days. Yknow those days where you berate yourself for not being good enough despite having given in your 100% or even more? When you opened up to a possibility, a sliver of hope and then that shuts its door at you. Right back where you started but not so much, because you took a step forward by bearing your heart and now the pieces are unretrievable. Oh, it hurts, it does. Nobody can ever get used to being heartbroken. Nobody can ever get used to going through the torments of a break up. There is no such thing in love that the more you go through it, the easier it gets. Each time hurts differently because the person was different, you were different, circumstances and situations were all different. Every single time, it hurts the same, if not more.
But wait, it’s true. You can get numbed. The pain might still be there but you won’t feel it. Whatever that’s left of your heart wont be able to detect the pain, so you’re safe.. You’re safe if youve been numbed over the years. Convenient excuse. ‘Hey I’m numb, I can’t feel us, let’s break up’. ‘Hey im okay, im just numb’. Really? Or maybe, just maybe, youre scared to open up. Maybe youre just afraid I’ll see the real you, just like how I let you see me. Maybe youre scared, just like I was. So you run, you hide when really, you blame me for being the coward..
If anything, Year 2011 has taught me plentiful. In a span of 8 months, I’ve come so far. Much further than I thought I’d ever have. In fact, I’m surprised I survived it.
Heartbreaks are always inevitable. I should know.
<3
Funny, eight months seems long but short.