Please wait for her return.

This heaviness within

bel — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 15:35:01 +0000

I need some time away from everybody to find myself again.
So, the next week back in Malaysia with good ol’ kampung house, dirt cheap roadside food and good family company is going to help.
I’ll come back better and stronger, just like before.

________________________

There was this one night, when she sat with legs dangling off the balcony, looking at the sparsely scattered stars in the night sky. Very slowly downing the drink she was holding, her eyes began to cloud with memories. Pain, a faraway object she thought had long left her life, resurfaced. Her heart was convulsed in agony and travail, with confusion satiating her mind. She just wanted out that very moment, and for her old life to recompense once more.
The words never failed to riff through every waking moment, the impact never once quelled even after months.
And so she knew, it was about time to take the plunge, to wander out of this lonesome kingdom she’d been entrapped in for the longest time, to leave the broken pieces behind,
and to start believing in life again.

& so she did.

______________________

Glad to have meet up with shu even if just for awhile, glad to have spent the night with makjl and laupy, glad to have seen xy ht and cat too.
I know some things have changed, maybe more will, but I know somehow somethings never will.
I never want to despair and lose again.
I never want to take the wrong route again.

_________________

I like to do nothing on my off days, which aren’t a lot.
Today is one of them, and I had dimsum buffet with qx and then we just bummed around at gloria jean’s taking photos, looking at the rain pour and drinking our coffee (chocolate-filled, nevertheless) hahaha.

_____________

Here’s a little something for you:
take care while i’m away, yknow i’ll think of you.
xoxo

HOLY COW

bel — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 15:35:46 +0000

I have to be up by 530am tomorrow.
KILL ME.
OKAY IM THINKING OF THE $$ SO THAT SHOULD KEEP ME GOING.

So anywaaaaaaaaaay,

freaky, all the people who read my blog. MM.

OKAY ANYWAY,

I did another piercing and im happy happy except i can’t listen to my ipod properly, yet.
HAHA

And so, Im going back to PW for the bali event from 2dec-8dec.
And back to msia from 22nov-26nov.

Miss me okay, y’all ):

So anyway lately I’ve been doing fine, rather happy actually.
Happy happy with all my happy little pills like
liowqx – who makes me eat more than i really should/can
addiechen – who cracks me up with her crazy phototaking
and all my other little pills like AIYA YOU ALL KNOW CAN ALR

basket i blog until damn hungry.

GIVE UP.

MY WISDOM TOOTH IS KILLING ME.
I HATE BEING SO WISE.

OKAY GOTTA WAKE UP AT 530am tmrw, NO JOKE.
GNIGHT FOLKS I LOVE ALL OF YOU!!!!!!!!!

june,stay strong (:

You can run you can hide,

bel — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 19:11:11 +0000

but somehow, someday,
i’ll still find you and make you mine.

_____________________

It’s one of those nights.

G’night, y’all.

OH SHITZ

bel — Wed, 04 Nov 2009 16:23:38 +0000

Was working on Halloween night when a “friend” popped by and said HELLO BEL, but I couldn’t quite put a name to his face and I was busy making waffles so I just said “HELLO COME BACK LTR K IM BUSY NOW” but he never did come back. So forget it lah.
THEN TMD YTD OUTSIDE CINI, HE WAS THERE AGAIN AND HE “HEY BEL” A COUPLE OF TIMES AND I WENT LIKE “SHIT SHIT SHIT I STILL DONT KNOW WHO THE HELL HE IS” so I pretended to just say hello, make a little small talk and walked away.

BUT WTF I STILL DONNO WHO HE IS AND HE DOESNT EVEN LOOK VERY FAMILIAR WTFZXZXZX AM I GETTING OLD????????????

______________________

Anyhow, ytd was Sentosa w june then LOVE HAPPENS with lau the idiot who made me walk all the way to Lido but since she’s treating, then fine lah AHAHHAHAAHHA good catching up! :D

TODAY WAS KLUNCH WITH MY LITTLE SCANDAL (OMG DID YOU REALIZE IT’S A WED???????? AND NO KISSING PIC???????)
AND YOU TOTALLY HAVE TO GO TO FB AND SEE OUR TXT MSGS TO EACH OTHER EARLY THIS MORNING FUCKING FUNNY HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

SO ANYWAY then we had an awesome chillax session at gloria jeans, walked around heeren a bit and headed to lot1 for yami! Met up with ep for awhile and I went off for dinner with family (:

______________________

OK LA TMRW WORKWORKWORK
NEED TO SLEEP SOON

AFTER THE GAMBLING SHOW I SLEEEEEEEEEEP :D

G’night, folks! G’day out today, yo!

For Addie & Jess

bel — Mon, 02 Nov 2009 18:17:21 +0000

I owe you two this much.

Here’s a humongous hug for both of you,
& cheers to all good friends in this world.

Thank you all so very much (:

Protected: Don’t ask me why,

bel — Sun, 01 Nov 2009 17:42:49 +0000

Of what feels like a hiatus

bel — Tue, 27 Oct 2009 15:16:36 +0000

I used to update my blog really frequently/consistently.
Maybe at least once in 2 or 3 days, if not daily.
I’ve become not lazy, but speechless.

So anyway, I hate blogging after so long of not doing so because I can’t remember the sequence of events ):
Over the week/s, caught Hurt Locker, Sister’s Keeper and Pandorum.
Enjoyed all 3 movies ;D

Phuture on fri.

My little scandal

Crazy work on Mon.
Sentosa today with addie and qx (:
Dinner with ws and his friends.

Just got back,
& work tmrw :\
Getting jaded.

Wonder how Halloween’s gonna be like.
Seriously wondering.
HAHA.

KKKK GOTTA RUN LAAAAAAAAAAA

FUCKING TIRED BYE

For all the brokenhearted souls t’night

bel — Mon, 19 Oct 2009 18:26:53 +0000

It’s been a rough year for many. Countless of people I know are going through shit in life.
Over family, illnesses, love, friendships, work and what not.
Every single bit that brings that single ounce of hurt plays a part.

For you,

no doubt it’s gonna be hard. and yes, i do understand all that you’re going through. but time’ll help. no it won’t heal, nor will it erase, but it’ll cover. and for now, covering is better than nothing at all. 2 months down, ure still gonna look back and realize it still hurts. but yknow you’re stronger than this, you’ve been through worse, and you may go through worse in future. just rmbr, it’s an experience, a step taken to become wiser. i don’t know how else i can help, but you do know that whenever you need me, i’ll be here to listen. don’t be afraid to open up again, cos yknow we’ll always be here helping you through. don’t be afraid of showing us who you are, cos we’ll do the same for you.

here’s a hug to last till i see you (:

_________________

How can things ever be okay again?

I wonder every night, don’t you guys too?

Here’s a sweet hug for liowqx too, stupid fri craze =D

Tangled up, the words.

bel — Sat, 17 Oct 2009 19:53:59 +0000

I had a relatively good day (:

It started with……….
mtg chris and wanling at je to hed to kallang.
k2, thai express, jumbo yami with JJ.
random call to disturb collin hahahha poor boy.
HAPPY BIRTHDAYYYYYYY! =D

Headed to vivo to find qx hs bin astley nicholas.
Starbucks for bridge.
I sucked at it today.

To work: with nico, mel & cclia

Koonhui, Jennie, Kuanhua, Jeremy and Jinghui came by and got icecream!
So did Shayne and his cute sister ;D
Langer came by toooooooo.
& Weiming came by with the 2 guys too,
& dedicated a song to SHORT BEL, THANKS.

Canal-ing happened. Stupid (penis) nico.
HAHAHAHA.

To cini for BK with nico & mel after work.
Continued laughing about canal-ing and penis,
which mel has no clue about. AHHAHH

Next wk’s schedule is soooooo crazy.
blessmeblessme.

______________________

I saw you today and somewhere within me, words got tangled up.
You were just there, but not really. Felt like talking to you but had no idea what to say.
Rather, I didn’t feel like I was in any position to ask anything anymore anyway.
I miss you, like how I used to but I can’t even tell you bout it.
THAT sucks, to be holding back this way.
But we’ve changed, both of us.
We don’t need each other like we used to anymore.
So I think I’ll do okay, I just need to stay focused.

___________________

Valladolid put up a great fight against madrid tonight. Marcello’s goal was so…………..
whatever.

_________

Always wanna blog but nothing much to say lately.
Then when I finally blog, I wanna blog bout past events,…….
but I can’t rmbr anything but what happened the day before.

SIGH getting old getting old.

Tell me,

what should I do for my 21st?

HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!

G’night folkkkkkkkkkks!

How much of me have you left

bel — Tue, 13 Oct 2009 18:13:54 +0000

How much of me have you thrown away,
how much of us have you kept

I wonder if you ever sit down and flip through the calender I made,

look in amazement how far we’d came,
and how much we left behind.

I wonder how much of me is left in your life.